KING CHARLES IN A NUTSHELL

 KING CHARLES IN A NUTSHELL 

1. Charles had a babe called Camilla.

2. Camilla was not a Virgin

3. Tradition dictated that Charles must marry a Virgin

4. Diana was minding her business and facing her front

5. Charles was told to marry her senior sister

6. Her sister smelled a rat and backed out

7. Failing to marry her senior sister, Buckingham Palace discovered Diana was a Virgin

8. In addition to being a Notable Virgin, Diana was from a family more royal than the current royal family

9. Charles married Diana

10. Charles didn’t tell Diana his babe was still Camilla

11. Diana hadn’t even been engaged to Charles for five minutes when Camilla gave expo.

12. Camilla was married with 3 children to Charles sister’s ex boyfriend

13. Diana became depressed realising she was just there for decoration, and the real marriage was Charles and Camilla.

14. Diana gave birth to William and Harry and kept deceiving herself that Charles would change since she had given him the heirs to the throne, but Charles was recalcitrant and unrepentant.

15. Diana tried confronting Camilla several times but Camilla resolutely refused to stop

16. Frustrated and depressed, Diana developed bulimia and other psychological problems from the stress and started turning into a skeleton

17. After several medical interventions, she started recovering and focusing on charity work and public service

18. Charles envied her fame

19. Charles started picking fights with Diana and making silly comments to undermine her in public.

20. Diana started defending herself and pressing him to give up his married mistress and he didn’t like that.

21. Frustrated Diana decided to expose Charles to the press on TV.

22. After being exposed Charles still hardened his heart and refused to repent from his wicked ways.

23. Diana then decided she was sick of his rubbish and started her own affair.

24. Charles, a pot, accused Diana, a brand new copper pan, of betraying him by having an affair.

25. Eliza called Charles and Diana and asked them to divorce instead of disgracing her.

26. They divorce and Eliza strips Diana of her HRH title.

27. Diana starts dating the son of the owner of Harrods - Dodi Al Fayed an Arab billionaire 

28. Paparazzi are obsessed with Diana

29. Diana and Dodi leave a hotel in Paris in a car not wearing their seatbelts in the back seat.

30. Paparazzi chase the car to get a photo of them, causing an accident in the tunnel, which kills the driver, Diana, and Dodi.

31. People have suspected Charles or Eliza ever since

BONUS: The suspicion partly is due to that aside from Camilla, Charles also had another mistress — this time a babe from Australia called Kanga, who became paralysed after, according to her — when the gist of her being Charlie’s babe blew up, ✌🏾someone✌🏾pushed her out the window.

32. With Diana dead, Charles & Camilla continued their full blown affair despite Camilla being married to Charles very close friend (who was also Charles sister’s ex boyfriend)

33. Charles convinced Eliza to rry a divorcée. Camilla divorced her husband to marry Charles

34. People were very angry with Charles and Camilla and nobody wanted her to be Queen, so for the longest time it was understood that when Charles became King, she would be Princess Consort.

35. Charles convinced Eliza to agree to change it.

36. Camilla held on and is now Queen

BONUS BONUS BONUS:

Sorry I forgot to add.

The middle name of Camilla’s first child (her son) from her previous marriage is CHARLES.

Charles is also her son’s godfather.

(And now, his stepfather as well)

ADDITIONAL BONUS (I swear this is the last one):

The second child (first son) of Charles OTHER mistress (the one from Australia) is also named CHARLES.